My Company Party and the Shrimp-a-thon

I know, you're thinking what the hell is a Shrimp-a-thon and what does it have to do with a company holiday party? For those of you who have not heard about my Friday night, allow me to explain. It all started last year, when I was bet $500 to eat TWO 24ox Prime Rib steaks. As some (most) of you know I won that bet and came home with an enormous stomach and 500 cash in my pocket.

Fast forward to Friday night. We are at an Italian restaurant in Times Square and the head of the company announces that he has a new challenge for me. He invites anyone in the company to challenge me to an eating contest with the food of my choice. One on co-worker volunteers, my 6'1" male former college athlete co-worker friend steps up to the plate. Now because he is a male and weighs more, he has to eat 25% more than me, which for him is NOTHING. Everyone in the company (including me) knows he is just as competitive as I am.

So I talk to the waiter and I had 3 options for the food. A pasta dish, chicken parm or shrimp francaise. I tried to be very strategic in my choice. He's bigger and I would get full very fast with pasta, chicken parm I love, but so does he. Plus I’m not ready to get so sick from it that I can’t eat it for 6 months. Shrimp francaise sounds gross, but he might not like it.

I go with the Shrimp!

The platters come out and I know this is going to be rough. I figure it can either go very well or very poorly. After the first bite I know it is going to go very poorly for me. Nevertheless I push on and go on to eat 19 shrimp (prawn size) – which is a whole family size platter. At this point I look over and my co-worker has eaten 30. He drinking a soda and looks like he could eat another 10 or 20. I can barely pick my head up, I can feel the shrimp sticking in my throat and I know if I keep going I WILL throw up on the table. This is when I think, if I throw up on the table they will definitely give me some money, at least cab fare home. So I pick up the fork and am about to go for another when my co-worker leans over and tells me he will split the money with me if I stop right there. He’s a really nice guy and he’s begs me to stop before I get sick. I tell him he doesn’t have to, but he insists, so I agree to stop, put down the fork, and run to the bathroom where I attempt to throw up and fail at that as well.

After about 10 mins trying to regain some dignity in the bathroom, I come out, get my 500 cash, hug my co-worker, explain my strange choice of shrimp…and try to not think about what I just ate…

After the restaurant we went to a bar around the corner for a 2 hour open bar. Unable to partake in any shots, I attempted to be social and drank 2 vodka tonics, while I watched all of my co-workers get really drunk and dance around. Every time I felt sick I reached in my pocket and checked the cash, knowing it was all worth it in the end.

Check out the gut! I am still so full...I don’t think I’ll eat shrimp for a year…