G2 Animals Unleashed!!

Written By Guest Blogger Darlene "Animal" Miranda

It's been a long time. We admit it. Hell, we even brag about it. Anyway, there has been a lot of serious activity in the G2 Sports Division so I thought I would recap quickly.

Basketball Delight

Dar "Animal" Miranda (yes, I am referring to myself in the third person) waits until the very last game of the season to score a single basket. It happened to be a 3 pointer. While the team lost the game by a considerable sum, it was still a big victory for G2. Little does the crowd know that she actually closed her eyes to shoot the ball. Whatever works.

Jaynimal Wise continued to be the team's all-star player. It was actually overheard on the sidelines, "Damn, she's good. She could even play for the boy's team". If that's not a compliment to her skill, we're not sure what is. When not perfecting her game, Jayne could be seen fraternizing with the other teams to muscle her way into as many leagues as possible. Jayne actually reached a new record collecting 457 new bball contacts.

Stephanie "Frankilicious" Paddock joined the team this season to belt out one hell of a rookie showing. Frank demonstrated her true animal-ness when she repeatedly drew fouls from the other team. Although hurt for the last game, Frank's team spirit is never ending…she came back as the team's coach, sporting a sleek black coaching outfit.

G2 goes Scrumming

The rumors are true, G2 took a stab at rugby. Normally, this is a sport that we enjoy strictly from the safety of the sidelines. But, it was time for G2 to hit the field this past weekend at the alumni anniversary weekend. Besides, we needed an excuse to show off our new banner and wear long socks and funny shorts. We could tell that we were in trouble, though, when we showed up playing with a football instead of a rugby ball.

Despite the pervasive level of rugby inexperience from G2, Erin Kempster, Jayne Wise, and Animal Miranda played on a touch team that won 3 out of 7 games, on average. Once again, Jayne Wise could be seen on the sidelines handing out her digits while being actively recruited by the team while Animal Miranda went straight for the cooler full of Bud Light.

Tri-Squared G-Squared Update

The team is in full preparation mode for the upcoming triathlon in Philadelphia. With only a few short training weeks left, the team has actually started resorting to such tactics and praying and carb-loading for help. Because, let's face it, every little bit helps.

Sara "Bussimal" Bussman, despite an injured foot, continues to surprise and delight the group with her witty commentary and locker room antics. Despite a recent workout adrenalin high, Sara could be seen walking into multiple stationary objects on the way home. Hopefully, she won't confuse her fellow triathletes for trees.

The team has also been attending weekly water polo classes to strengthen their aquatic conditioning. It's quite a scene when the G2 girls show up to play amongst the very buff and muscular gay boys….what a thrill!

Finally, while there had been serious suspicions flying around, it has been confirmed that Erin Kempster is, in fact, part marine animal. When confronted with the accusation, Erin admits that there is some dolphin lineage a few generations up. Further, she exposed her "gills" to us….something that we will not soon forget.

Bartoli for President

OK, we have little influence over that but….we do name Dr. Bartoli our favorite G2 MVP physician. Hooray!

That is it for this edition of G2 Sports. Join us soon for another thrilling update.